‘Ware the Chaos Storm

One of the most terrifying things in the land of Meatlandia are the chaos storms that ravage the land. They can last only seconds but when the storm hits, everything goes very wacky indeed.

In a forest, bird calls change into tortured screaming one minute, children happily singing or the howling of coyotes .

In a desert, cacti start dancing  and  the  wind  takes  on  the  sound of boiling water or bees swarming. In a city, buildings shift from right in front of you to miles away, then all come back and shift sideways.

Near the sea, ocean creatures swim through the air or fly through the sand. The ground changes into air, into water, into snow, The light changes from darkest midnight to bright summer day and everything in between in the quickest of instants. It can take 10 minutes to walk ten feet or ten miles. The human perspective is utterly variable in a chaos storm.

Think Depp and Del Toro in Las Vegas and multiply by *a lot* and you’ll have a good beginning idea.

Most sane people fear and loathe these storms, which destroy entire towns in seconds. But the Nexus Bard can actually summon them, and seeks to do so whenever possible



Roll 1d100

  1. The two characters (including NPCS) with highest and lowest levels exchange “to hit” bonuses for the duration of the fight.
  2. All combatants and nearby bystanders change into random mammals for the next d8 rounds. No human powers or abilities are retained, including speech. But they do recognize allies and enemies.
  3. Roll 1 of every die type you have. Whichever one is highest will be the initiative dice for everyone in the party until noon the next day.
  4. Tripping Balls. The constraints of reality are lifted and players can glimpse raw multiverse. The walls or trees or rocks or whatever nearby inanimate objects begin to sing in an indistinct by vaguely harmonic way. Chaos-aligned players and NPCs get +2 to attack, and Lawful characters get -3 to attack.
  5. Babies. For the next d4 hours, everyone is 1d6 years old. No one has any memories whatsoever of adult life or the current conflict.
  6. Staunch. The Nexus and all allies make saves at +4 for the next 2d12 hours.
  7. Shrink. Everyone in a 10 meter radius rolls. 50 percent chance of each character shrinking to d12 inches for 1d10 rounds. A save will negate shrinkage.
  8. Grow. Everyone in a 10 meter radius rolls. 50 percent chance of each character growing d12 feet for 1d10 rounds. A save will negate growth.
  9. Darkness Falls. It is utterly black for the duration of the fight. Not even elves can see. Everyone has -6 to all attack rolls.
  10. Everyone in the world who knows the PCs name instantly has a mastodon tattooed somewhere on a randomly determined body part.
  11. Everyone in a 30 meter radius has their gender changed. 20 percent chance this change is permanent.
  12. Roll d20. This is your AC for the next 24 hours.
  13. A fray! An NPC from the Raconteur table joins the fight. Roll d6. 1-3= they join the PC’s team, 4-5 they join the PC’s enemies, and 6 they are on their own team. A weak NPC who would normally avoid battle is filled with battlelust and will not run or surrender. They still may easily die but will do so with rage in their heart and defiance in their eyes.
  14. Everyone in a 10 meter radius randomly changes alignments. 70 percent chance this is permanent.
  15. All weapons turn into flowers with the same attack bonuses and damage rolls. The affect is permanent.
  1. It begins to rain tropical fruit. Roll 1d6. 1= pineapples, 2=lemons, 3=rambutans, 4=mangosteens 5=jackfruit 6=coconuts. Duration is 1d20 game minutes.
  2. For the next 1d20 minutes, (real) anyone who tries to speak can only neigh like a horse. The PC’s have to figure out a way to communicate without language.
  1. You may swap any 1 stat with any (and each) character you kill. But only a general sense is given. (He looks smart, she seems strong) before choosing, not a look at the actual character sheet.
  2. Local Power. A great worm. The Meat Lord. The Rust Lord. You have gained the attention of a local great power. They may watch and recruit the winner or could possibly be induced to intervene.
  3. Dimensional Wanderer. The Weaver. Praetor-Pontifex Cyris Carnithrax Maximus. Elric. Cthulhu. Vader. Someone the characters don’t know but they players probably do appears. Whether they are immediately hostile or not is up to circumstance.
  4. Puppies! Everyone must make a save vs. magic or be temporarily turned into a puppy. The puppy transformation will last for 1d6 hours.
  5. Severe weather anomaly. 1d6: 1. Tornado, 2. Snow flurries, 3. Sudden Downpour, 4. Hail, 5. Blistering heat, 6. Fog
  6. Plants will uproot and flee the area. Plants may be attacked at AC 10, 2 HP. Killing a plant will release a vengeful Djinn that will do whatever it can to destroy the killer.
  7. Swarm of birds. They will not attack, but they are noisy and stinky.
  8. All water in the area will permanently turn into alcohol.
  9. Kittens! Any non-human animals must save vs. magic or become kittens. The transformation will last for 1d6 hours.
  10. All rocks in the area will become radioactive. Make a save vs. breath weapons or suffer radiation poisoning: -1 CON/day. 0 CON = death!
  11. Ravenous! Characters will all become insanely hungry. If they have any rations/food/etc, they will devour them immediately. If they do not have any food, they will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get food. Effect wears off in 2d6 rounds.
  12. Shit storm. Literally. Shit falls from the sky in a heavy downpour. 60’ area of effect and it lasts for 2d6 minutes. Shit will accumulate on the ground at a rate of 1 inch per minute.
  13. Save vs. spell or become a troll. Each person who fails the save will grow 2d4 feet. Add +1 STR, +1d6 HP, and -1 DEX per foot grown. Trolls heal damage at a rate of 1d4 HP/round. Trollism in non-reversible.
  14. Magic missiles storm. 1d20 Magic missiles spawn at the center of the area, randomly attacking anyone in the area. Missiles automatically hit and do 1d4+1 damage—save vs. spell for ½ damage.
  15. Magic weapons. All weapons in the area become enchanted: they will each have a bonus of +1d4 and will also be able to talk. 20% chance that weapons will sing as well.
  16. Lost. Everyone in the area is lost. They have no idea where they are, where they came from, or where they are going. They will remember basically everything else.
  17. Everyone save vs spell or: Super Cool. Super Cool bestows a +5 reaction bonus, +3 to CHA, and really nice hair. Super cool has 20% chance of becoming permanent, otherwise it lasts 2d6 days.
  18. The tallest and the shortest people in the area will change heights permanently.
  19. A love-sick panda bounds into the center of the group. It will randomly select a mate from among the people present. The panda will not be deterred.
  20. Everyone save vs spell or: Super strength: Save vs. spell or become super strong. Can carry double the normal amount and all attacks are made at +4 and inflict double damage. Will last for 1d4 days, 20% chance of becoming permanent.
  21. Magic realignment. All magic users must trade spells with the magic user directly to the right of them. If there are no other magic users, they must randomly roll for 1d4 spells. If no one is a magic user, everyone randomly rolls for 1d4 spells. Priests and non-humans count as magic users for the purposes of this effect. Effects last until spells are cast.
  22. Everyone save vs spell or: Little brother. A smaller, more annoying version of yourself will grow out of the ground. He will have ½ the level and HP as you. He will fight on your side and will be your friend, but everyone else will like him more than you. Little brother is permanent.
  23. Everyone save vs spell or: Cold Steel. From now on, if you look at someone for a complete round and don’t say anything, they must save vs paralysis or run in fear. If you say anything, no matter what, it will not work.
  24. Roll 1d6. Reroll the corresponding Ability Score: 1. Int, 2. Wis, 3. Str, 4. Dex, 5. Con, 6. Cha
  25. All liquids in the area turn into milk. The milk will spoil in 1d4 hours.
  26. Roll 1d6. Swap the corresponding Ability Score with the character of the player directly across from you. 1. Int, 2. Wis, 3. Str, 4. Dex, 5. Con, 6. Cha
  27. All players must swap names with their characters for the remainder of the game session.
  28. Lost in translation. No matter what anyone says, it will be construed to have the opposite meaning.
  29. These hands! Roll 1d10, the result is the number of fingers on each hand.
  30. Any headwear in use will become permanently attached to characters heads, but will also add+2 to AC. Dispel magic spell will reverse the effect.
  31. All magic will have the opposite effect for the next 1d10 rounds.
  32. We all go a little mad sometimes. Everyone roll 1d6: 1. Schizophrenia, 2. Severe Depression, 3. Delusions, 4. Paranoia, 5. Hallucinations, 6. Amnesia
  33. All stones in the area smaller than 3 inches in diameter turn into precious gems. Gems are worth 1d4 x 100 GP each.
  34. Your clothes are fire proof.
  35. The next person to hear your voice will fall in love with you.
  36. All metal blades change into cooked noodles of the same size.
  37. Roll twice for all your attacks. Choose the best result.
  38. Someone somewhere has sworn to kill you. Each time you meet someone, roll 1d100. On a result of 100, you have just met your killer. Sorry.
  39. Highly skilled! Earn double XP for the next 24 hours.
  40. Life is beautiful. No one in the area will be able to harm another for 24 hours.
  41. Choose any result for your next die roll, then roll a die. If you roll a 1, you keep the power. If not, it is lost.
  42. Player must speak in pig latin for the entire encounter. Every round that he fails to speak in pig latin, character takes 1d6 damage.
  43. All gold in the area turns to dust.
  44. All animals in the area turn into people. Roll on the following table for alignment:
Roll Chaos/Law Good/Evil
1-2 Lawful Evil
3 Neutral Neutral
4-6 Chaotic Good
  1. One random person in the area will immediately die. GM should assign numbers to all characters (PC’s NPC’s, monsters) and roll to determine who dies.
  2. Is it getting gold in here? Everything turns to gold—including people! Make save vs. spell or become gold (oh yeah, gold is dead)
  3. Flight! Everyone can fly. Anyone who can already fly now cannot. Effect lasts for 1d4 hours.
  4. Spiritual Dissonance. Every player at the table must pass their character to the person to their left. Players will control the newly acquired character for the remainder of the encounter.
  5. Flatulence. Everyone in the area has severe gas. Farts smell bad, but there are no other effects. Lasts for 2d12 hours.
  6. When your opponent is injured, you take damage. When you are injured, your opponent takes damage.
  7. Face Off! Each player swaps faces with the enemy. If there are fewer enemies than PC’s, PC’s may share a face. If there are no enemies, PC’s swap with each other. Face Off is permanent.
  8. Time Warp! Whenever anyone makes a successful roll to hit, time will go backward by 1 round. This effect ends 10 rounds after it begins (adjusted, of course, for time warps).
  9. Nowhere man mode! All combat restrictions are lifted. Characters may use any weapons, armor, whatever without penalty. Characters can fight with two weapons at once, use two-handed weapons with one hand, use a shield while firing a bow, etc.
  10. Did you see that? Ninjas sneak into the area and pick everyone’s pocket. Ninjas will be successful on a roll of 1-18 on 1d20. If they are successful, they will steal whatever is most valuable to each character. If they are seen, you may fight them. Ninja: HP: 20, AC: 16, To Hit: +4 Short Sword: 1d6+1 damage.
  11. Everyone becomes invisible for 1d10 rounds. Anyone who is already invisible becomes visible.
  12. Split personality. Roll up a new character and keep it with this character. Any time that your character is severely injured (less than ½ HP), he will switch personalities. Character will stay the other personality until he is severely injured again. This condition can be cured if one of the personalities is killed (at which point the character will forever live as the surviving personality).
  13. Exasperated. The next time the character fails at anything, he will break down in tears. He will be unable to do anything else but cry in utter frustration for the next 1d10 minutes.
  14. This sucks! All clothing and wearable items become sucking leeches, draining blood from those who are wearing them. Leech items can be shed at a rate of 1 item per round and will inflict 1 point of damage per round until they are shed.
  15. Do you even lift? Add 1d6 to Str. for the next 24 hours.
  16. Sword of Destiny. Your sword is the Sword of Destiny—it will never miss. If you don’t have a sword, too bad for you.
  17. I’m Batman! Not really, but you do have to say your name before everything you do for the rest of the day.
  18. Anyone who dies in the next fight will come back as a vampire. If a PC comes back as a vampire, use the following stats: Str +6, Dex +4, Con +4, Int +2, Wis +2, Cha +4, AC +6.
  19. Slow-mo. Everyone save vs. paralysis or move in slow motion for the next 10 minutes. Slow-mo means movement is ½ normal, number of attacks is halved (so that most characters will attack once every two rounds), To Hit is -4, and AC is -4.
  20. Every full drink of alcohol will heal you as a potion (1d6+1 HP) for the next 2d6 days. After that, you will probably have a very serious hangover.
  21. Cats love you! They will swarm after you and follow you anywhere you go. Every hour for the next 4d6 hours, you will be joined by 1d6 cats. They will never abandon you.
  22. Religious experience. Everyone present will believe that they have shared a life-altering religious experience. They will not fight against each other and will, instead, form a cult. The cult will attempt to convert everyone that they meet and each member of the cult will do whatever he can to help the others.
  23. Mexican standoff. The GM should roll 10d6 before initiative is rolled. The first person to act will automatically succeed (swords will hit, spells will succeed, thieves will hide, etc.) but will also take the 10d6 in damage. Each round, the GM will roll one less die.
  24. For the rest of the day, you get a +1 to all die rolls if you declare your actions with a couplet.
  25. Roll 1d6. You may speak this many new languages.
  26. Magnetic personality. Metal objects will hurl themselves at you. Make a successful Dex check to avoid them.
  27. Everyone you have ever met will believe that you are an imposter the next time that they meet you.
  28. Anything that you eat in the next 24 hours will taste delicious and fill you completely.
  29. Dangerous words. Your voice will cause 2d6 points of damage to anyone who hears it for the next 24 hours.
  30. Gravity shift: everyone in the area shifts their gravitational center 90 degrees. If you used to fall toward the ground, you now fall to the equator. If you used to fall to the equator, you now fall up.
  31. Powerful friends. Nothing happens to you, but all of your friends are +4 to hit.
  32. Stretchy arms. Your arms can stretch up to 20 feet.
  33. Socialism. All players roll for attack simultaneously and use the average of all the rolls. Enemies do the same.
  34. Everyone has an overwhelming urge to use the bathroom. They will not be able to do anything else until they have finished. It will take 1d6 rounds to finish your business.
  35. Reverse Time! The entire PC party is returned to the last time and place that they rested. They remember everything that has happened and may choose whether or not they want to repeat their past decisions.
  36. You mad, bro? You are sent into a major rage fury. You are +4 to hit, +2 to damage, +1 hit die, and -2 to AC during the rage.
  37. They’re all gonna laugh at you! No matter what you do, everyone else will laugh at you.
  38. Anyone who dies within 20 feet of the nexus bard will turn to solid gold as soon as they die. If you can move them, they will be highly valuable.
  39. Deez nuts! All wealth (gold, gems, etc.) turns to nuts. They are delicious but without value. All nuts turn to diamonds worth 3d4 x 100 GP each.



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